Hello friends, Dogentricks.com here.

It is 2:37 AM on March 1, 2009. I am alone; I feel free and peaceful.

I am a number in society and I behave as that figure while in such a setting.

I am floating in my mind miles from the ordinary.

I am Dogentricks.com.

I am all of the above and more than anything else, I feel the need to write.

I am going through a very strange stage in my life. To be more specific, I feel the way which I view the world and the people around me is gradually changing. Everyday I wake up and feel a little bit less like myself, or at least the self I once was. This metamorphosis began May 1st, 2008.

I had just come out of the shower and felt fantastic. Anxious to check my mail, I walked to my computer, which dully illuminated the dark room in a soft white glow. Of course, before I do anything I my computer, I need music. iTunes’ Random flipped on Supercar’s Yumegiwa Last boy, the pool sweeping song of my youth. I became curious and did a search of Supercar on youtube. May 1st, 2008 was the first day I ever heard “Warning Bell.” To be more specific, I came across the Last Live version on Youtube. This is that video – I encourage you to sit alone in a quiet, dark room and watch. Release your preconceptions and experience the indescribable emotion embedded in this song. Let yourself go.

I felt absolutely dumbfounded after watching this video. It was as if a flood of feelings, an avalanche of ideas, a rush of unexplainable energy swept over my body and enveloped my mind. It was as if the song wiped and rewrote my concept of life. Everything I knew, every fact I had ever learned, every piece of information I had read, heard, or experienced in my until then 20 year existence was seized and completely erased. It was as if I had been reborn.

After the video ended, I wiped the tears from my cheeks, stood, and slowly walked towards my bed. In a breathless joy, I collapsed onto the the soft futon and immediately fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I was sure the whole experience had been a dream.

It was not a dream. I watched the video the again and immediately returned to the dream-like state. It felt good.

To be honest, I was scared to tell anyone about it. First, I wasn’t even sure how to describe it. “Have you ever zoned out?” isn’t enough because it doesn’t capture the beauty of the state. “Have you ever been in a trance?” doesn’t work either because it fails to communicate the entirely conscious aspect of the condition. Moreover, I expected even a suitable description would be answered by harsh, if not doubtful words. I eventually spoke with someone about it later, but was met with a tone of akward denial. Incidentally, most of my close friends do not read this website, and know little about the inner workings of my mind.

That is to say, I am usually quite a different person on my website and in reality. This is the result of preconceptions. Not surprisingly, I am often surrounded by people who have known me for several years. Those who lack previous knowledge are typically individuals I meet through friends and acquaintances. As a result, they develop a portrait of my behavior through the eyes of our mutual connection. Thus, my existence is reaffirmed by that which is seen and heard by others and not by which is thought and possessed by myself.

In realizing this, I have come to truly treasure the opportunity of meeting completely new people — such is a chance to create an impression accurate to myself. Then, in a sort of bittersweet and backward fashion, those who know me least become those who know me best, while those who have known me for ages are left with the image of Dogentricks.com they have known for so long. This creates a sort of divided energy which exists in my being and seeks release.

I hope to use this knowledge of myself and recreate the best me. With any luck, I can bring some form of joy and inspiration to others.

Oh dear it is now 4:32 AM. Part of me really wants to finish writing this blog, but another part says, “Dogentricks.com, it is 4:33 AM. You should sleep because that is the correct choice.” We will go for the in-between. I hope you enjoy this very incomplete, incoherent, and impossible blog, which is probably full of typos, not to mention an introduction and body with enough momentum to drive a young man mad! Doh!

Anyway, thanks everyone for reading this. I appreciate every pair of eyes which reflect these words.

Train hard.