Hello friends. My name is Dogentricks.com, and this is the beginning of chapter two.

I am the typical underdeveloped protagonist, just about to discover his powers. I’m the innocent, young man with a couple traumatizing experiences. You are the jittery audience. You are watching my story, patiently waiting for the drama to unfold.

Shazam. I am bit by a radioactive spider. I am exposed to XYZ-rays. I am bathed in a coat of chemical top-secret 03312. I am super!

You watch apprehensively. Tension runs down your spine, radiating through yours shoulders, crawling down your arms, leaking into your hands. Your fingers gradually claw themselves into vice-like grips around the arm rests.

I slowly look down at my trembling palms, immediately aware of immense power now surging through my veins. I clench my pink, steaming fists, shift my eyes towards the sky, and release an earth shattering cry. A set of brilliant wings unfold from my back, and with a single, thundering beat, carry me to the cosmos.

You, now covered in a light blanket of salt and popcorn oil, take a generous gulp of Coca Cola. Escalating anxiety forces your stomach to the top of your body cavity. Your unblinking eyes stay fixed to the screen.

Above a carpet of cotton clouds, I streak across the vast sky at breakneck speeds. The calm, cold air has a sharp edge and washes over me like waves of frozen needles. I’m bathed in a sea of frigid pricks as I continue to accelerate, splitting the supple, white floor beneath me. In a final surge of energy, I pull the wings in tight, blasting through the sound barrier and vaporizing every cloud in the sky.

I’m Dogentricks.com, and I suffer from the superhero syndrome.

I’m sure you are well aware of the sickness. It first comes in bouts, when you’re least expecting it. You’re watching youtube late on a Tuesday night, or flipping through an old issue of TIME magazine. It’s the classic rags to riches story. It’s the training montage in every good sports movie. It’s the chaotic guitar solo in your favorite song. It is the intangible, indescribable, insatiable feeling of inspiration. You are captivated. “I need something like this—I need the ability to inspire.” This is the initial symptom of the superhero syndrome.

You’re slammed by another set of energy waves. One moment, you’re sitting in class, lazily tapping your pencil against the desk in 3/4 time. The bell rings and you clap your headphones back around your head. Everything vanishes. Your chair falls through the floor and your desk is yanked out from under your elbows. You’re suddenly standing in a bright, white room full of nothing but images of the person you wish you were. More often than not, you find yourself sneaking into the image room; you pop your head in between classes, between meals, and between states of consciousness.

Enter phase two. Your self-evaluated potential, previously bottlenecked only by the limits of your own imagination, is boundless. You become a product of self-transcendentalism, constantly preoccupied by thoughts of super-you. You can’t stop wondering, “What would life be like if I had a superpower?” If you had that super ability, people would look up to you! People would see you and say, you are my inspiration! You could make the world a better place with your ability, and foster a new generation of self proclaimed X-men.

Everyday, I wake up aching. I look down at the figure I’ve created and consider accumulated damage. I think to myself, “How can I, a less than talented trickster riddled with injuries, make a positive impact? How can a person with subpar ability make a noticeable difference? Is it possible to inspire others, while lacking the ability oneself?”

Why is it that people come to this site? Why do your eyes reflect these abstract lines? Why do people say I am a God among tricksters, when there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of tricksters far better than myself? Why do people send me e-mails overflowing with thanks and emotion?

Have you been sneaking into my image room? Did you see a glimpse of the person I hope to be? Were you wandering through my dreams?

Hello friends. My name is Dogentricks.com, and this is the beginning of chapter two. I have never been a great trickster, and do little to deserve the praise you bless me with. I love tricking from the bottom of my heart, and I always will. But to become a hero, I need to develop my talent. I need to nurture the real reason this site has become what it is today.

This is the beginning of my journey to move people with words—the closest thing I have to a superpower.

Train hard.

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