Best commercial I’ve seen in a long time.

Hello friends. Essay for English 281: Exposition

Pokemon is a popular war simulator created by Nintendo in 1995. Since its release over a decade ago, Pokemon has become one of the most successful and beloved video games of all time.

The most important aspect of the Pokemon Universe is the diverse and interesting collection of the Pokemon themselves. Pokemon, short for pocket monsters, refers to 150 unique creatures. Pokemon are quite similar to the various cultures of our world – they come in all shapes and sizes, have unique strengths, weaknesses, and even utilize different modes of communication. The flagship Pokemon, Pikachu, for example, is an electrically charged rodent which can speak nothing more than various permutations of its own name. “Pika Pika!” is the most common of all utterances. The rock serpent Onyx, on the other hand, can create only an assortment of grunts and bellows, all of which are indiscernible to even the most trained ears. While there is some evidence which indicates communication between different species of Pokemon, there are no signs of a mutually intelligible, universal language. Despite this, Pokemon are peaceful creatures by nature and can often be seen living together in harmony. It is not the monsters themselves, but trainers who ultimately bring about disturbances in the Pokemon Universe.

Trainers are human war generals who use their superior intelligence to enslave Pokemon. They create battle strategies and manipulate Pokemon to crush their opponents, gain experience, and hopefully, loot a bit of money in the process. This boundless lifestyle creates a vicious cycle, often resulting in the “I wanna be the very best” complex, a power hungry frenzy countless trainers have lost themselves to. Particularly powerful trainers are akin to military tyrants. Misty, the cunning leader of Cerulean City shows striking similarities to Emperor Hirohito, with her hot head and water based attacks. Likewise, the brute force wielded by earth based Brock can be easily compared with Stalin’s iron fist. Final boss and perfectionist Gary is obviously modeled after Hitler. Each and every trainer aspires to become a Pokemon Master – the most powerful trainer of their time and essentially the ruler of worlds. Pokemon masters are unparalleled in their knowledge, carry incredible amounts of wealth, and most importantly, command a team of up to six incredibly powerful pocket monsters.

Acquisition of pocket monsters is no easy task. Pokemon, much like humans, are not easily persuaded. Pokemon will not willingly leave tranquility for a lifetime of military service. Thus, for the majority of cases, trainers must force Pokemon into service. Using a series of brutal physical, elemental, and sometimes mental attacks, trainers will crush the will of their desired Pokemon until it briefly enters a weakened, delusional state. During this window, Pokemon are extra susceptible to capture. Poke-balls are then used like propaganda to seize the foreign monster and create forced alliances. If successfully captured, the Pokemon are bound to a cramped life of solitary confinement, only allowed to see the outside world of war at the will of their trainers. The overwhelming majority of trainers force their monsters to live in Poke-balls, favoring a fear based relationship. Ash Ketchum is an especially sadistic trainer who teases his Pokemon, letting only his beloved Pikachu run free, while the rest are forced to the cold confines of the Poke-balls.

The typical poke-battle shares many characteristics with colonial warfare. Each side takes turns attacking in an honorable, face to face match. Trainers bark out commands, far and safe from the action. Trainers also serve as medics at this time, continually pumping their retired Pokemon full of performance enhancing steroids known as “items.” When morale and energy has been depleted, reinforcements are switched in to relieve the exhausted. Matches can last anywhere from a matter of minutes to several of hours. Poke-battles end when either side has run out of functional Pokemon. There have also been instances of guerilla warfare tactics utilized by a particularly ruthless pair known only as Team Rocket. Rocket seeks elusive Pokemon in the hopes of later exchanging them for cash. Fortunately, the duo often creates almost silly battle strategies which, one way or another, end up launching them several miles from the action, making them little to no threat for the average trainer.

With its deep, well developed creatures, realistic battle system, and solemn themes of war, betrayal, and madness, it comes as no surprise that Pokemon has captured the interest of millions around the world. Though more than a decade has passed since the original release, every year sees a new supply of Pokemon sequels, movies, and even children’s toys. Fans eagerly await what the future has in store for this brilliant, yet violent franchise.

Golden.

Hello friends and family. This is dogentricks.com.

Yesterday I celebrated All Hallows Eve with old friends and new acquaintances. Old friends being fraternity brothers:

All of those about to criticize my un-original ninja outfit, I will have you know that it was AMAZINGLY creative. I was a professional ninja – i.e. more than the black mask I was wearing, the finely tailored black coat was the centerpiece to the outfit.

As for the newbs (acquaintances), check out my new best friends at UW:

TRAIN

TRAYNE

TREIN

TRANE

This is the funniest thing I have seen in weeks!

Surgery. I had the 4th mouth surgery of my life two days ago and have since then been ゴロゴロing around my new apartment, which is sick. Vid soon.

My acid trips off of the various meds I’ve been using led me to read my sisters iPod playlist as “BASSSSS” the fish, rather than the tone.

Upon realizing my mistake, I made a vow to never do drugs.

これって超面白くない？？ww God this is hysterical.